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Ethics and values are on people’s minds now. We hear terms like
"family values "but seldom do we hear them explained. So this
article attempts to answer the question: Values may be defined as a set of personal beliefs about what is good and desirable. They determine what it takes for us to respect others and ourselves; define how we should treat other people; and influence our beliefs about what makes life worthwhile. Values are influenced by culture, by religion and by family but ultimately they are the reflection of VERY PERSONAL CHOICES ABOUT RIGHT AND WRONG.
SCIENCE: Relying on scientifically proved facts to tell what is true. Regardless of how values are chosen, they usually center around FIVE
BASIC QUESTIONS Are people inherently bad or good or a mixture of the two? Can human nature be influenced or changed? Some religions and cultures view human nature as basically evil; others view it as inherently benign. In the early part of the 20th Century, most Americans would probably have aid that human beings are basically sinful and must cur their instincts. The humanist movement of the sixties took the position that human beings are basically good and should appreciate their feeling rather than repress them. Research supports the view that people are a mixture of good and evil, capable of being influenced by environment and by other people. 2. HOW SHOULD WE RELATE TO NATURE? For much of the 19th and 20 centuries, human beings sought to conquer nature and shape it to our own designs. In contrast, modern environmentalists encourage is to live in harmony with nature. 3. WHAT TIME DIMENSION DO WE VALUE: past, present or future? Some cultures seek to maintain stability by repeating yesterday. Others focus on what future gains—either spiritual or material—today’s efforts will bring. In others, only what happens today is important. 4. WHAT KIND OF ACTIVITY IS MOST IMPORTANT? Do we value who we are or what we do? Cultures that value being gives priority to personal qualities like compassion, kindness, humor etc. Societies that value doing reward achievement and accomplishment. 5. HOW SHOULD WE TREAT ONE ANOTHER? Should we compete with one another or work together cooperatively? Competition creates war and other adversarial relations; cooperation creates peace and emotional bonding with one another.
MALE & FEMALE VALUE SYSTEMS Men and women tend to have different value systems. This is illustrated in the Mars/Venus concept that has been popular in the last decade. It is true that the sexes differ on important value concepts.
WHAT DO YOU VALUE? Because values are shaped so early in life they remain largely unconscious. We rarely stop to think consciously and deliberately about what our values are—we just act on them. To remind you of what’s really important to you, try the following exercise: Create a time and place where you can be left undisturbed. Now…close your eyes and imagine that you are on your deathbed with family and friends gathered around you. Think about your life seeing you and others through the various stages. Ask yourself: What do I wish I had spent more time doing? What am I proudest of in my life? What times of my life were the happiest and why? What has made my life worthwhile? What am I leaving as a legacy? The answers to these questions reflect what you value most and reveal whether you’re living out your values. If you see things that you regret, examine these more closely and find out what values you betrayed. You may experience strong feelings as you responded to these questions. If you did, a professional counselor may be able to help you to understand these feelings and the messages they hold for you. A good counselor will not try to tell you what to believe but will help you clarify what’s important to you. If you are not sure what you believe you are more easily influenced. Your choices will reflect the here and now, not be guided by internal standards of right and wrong. If you don’t know what you stand for, you’ll fall for anything. TEACHING CHILDREN VALUES Parents are the important influence on a child’s moral development. Other factors include teachers, peer, religion and in today’s world the media. Studies show that parents who communicate family rules and values clearly to their children and enforce the rules consistently have children with the highest sense of social responsibility. These parents.. *CONFRONT children when they behave in ways that may be harmful to others *are DIRECT and HONEST about rules and values *stress the importance of OBEDIENCE TO AUTHORITY *are CONSISTENT in enforcing the rules *DEMONSTRATE by their own behavior their commitment to the rules and values they want their children to observe. So to raise responsible children who respect others’ rights as well as their own, parents must b models of what they want from their children---being fair honest and caring in all dealings with others. Parents need to be able to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for them. One important factor often omitted is that parents need to discuss values with their children. News stories can be an opportunity to discuss the values involved and provide advice and direction on how such situations should be managed. ------------------------------
Dr.
Dorothy J. Marron, Ph.D., |
"What are values and why are they important in
our lives?"
